Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
