All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
