I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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