what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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