Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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