i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
