We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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