She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
