i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize