if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
