I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
