Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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