if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
