I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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