There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
