Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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