So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
