Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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