So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We just shotgunned beers for America
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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