I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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