I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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