3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
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I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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