This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize