Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
