No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ttyl tear gas
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
