This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
