her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
