So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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