What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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