At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
