its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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