i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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