those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
