New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
