Kiss
Puke
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
