i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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