Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize