so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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