wakey wakey hands off snakey
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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