xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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