I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize