I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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