I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
