I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
