It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
God, I missed his penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
