everyone is single if you try hard enough
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
