I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
