I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
