There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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