Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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