There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
