like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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