If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
