She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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